It was obvious you thought of him as more than “just friends”
He was, at the very least, your best friend.
But even that title would be an understatement.
He was someone you went to when you were feeling stressed.
He helped you in your insecurities, even if he wasn’t aware of it.
He was always there to make you laugh, even when your mood brought his down.
You felt… something for him. You weren’t sure if it was a familial love, a friendly love, or something worse, but you knew that he meant half the world to you. He was the reason you looked forward to the next day. He was the reason you endured those two years, the reason you always had a smile on your face.
He was the reason for everything you’ve done.
You walked, head down, through the rain. Having forgotten your umbrella, you walked calmly despite your fear of getting sick. Your hands occupied, you brought one bag up to your forehead, trying to block out the rain in vain.
Then, you heard it. A beautiful, familiar voice calling out your name over the rain. You turned around to confirm your suspicions. He ran up to you then, holding an open umbrella. Walking to your destination, you couldn’t help but feel grateful that he was there. Of all the people around you, he had been the one to save you from the rain. Unable to look him in the eye, you kept your eyes focused on the pavement below. Departing, you turned around to thank him, but he was already gone. You smiled to yourself and headed inside.
It was at times like these that you realized exactly how wonderful he was. You often wondered why fate had allowed the both of you to meet. You had always thought he was too good for you.
He had said something ridiculous. As he was about to walk away, you grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him around. Looking directly into his eyes, you asked, with the most serious face you could muster, whether he was serious or not. After a few moments, the both of you had burst into laughter. You cherished times like these. You remembered them in a golden light, knowing that moments such as these were rare. You remembered the sound of his laugh, the curve of his lips as he smiled, the way his body was positioned when he was startled. You remembered it like it was the best scene in your favorite movie.
It was apparent you liked him; it was apparent to all your friends. But not to him. And yet - you had turned down every other guy for him. To you, he was the world. But you knew you didn’t mean much to him. It didn’t matter, as long as he would be there for you when you needed him.
He always knew when you were upset. No matter how good an act you put up, he always saw through it. He truly was your savior, and you wished you could be something to him. You wished you could mean something to him, even if you were just his friend. You wanted to be someone he could trust, someone he could go to for help.
But you weren’t.
You still poured your heart out to him. Every chance you got, you would talk to him. If given a choice, you would sit next to him. You loved every aspect of his personality. You loved when he was energetic, laughing and smiling with his friends. You loved when he was tired, head down, a faint smile on his face. When he was happy, you could smile. You hadn’t known him that long, but you considered him one of your best friends.
On rare occasions, he would show you the slightest affection. Hands on your shoulders as you walked, the soft, gentle patting of your head when he felt content, his warm hands on yours when you shared a comfortable silence. He would surprise you ever-so-often with these gestures, and you savored his gentle, caring touch. He was someone who made you happy even after he had left the room. You knew he was irreplaceable, and you felt as though no one had come closer to you than he had.
But you also knew all good things must come to an end. He was leaving soon, and you knew that. You never acknowledged it, and you never told anyone how sad it made you feel. You ignored it, as the date came ever closer. You didn’t want him to go, but you didn’t want to hold him back either. You decided to not be selfish and not say a word.
But that didn’t stop you from thinking about it.
You weren’t exactly sure what love was, but you were afraid to name this feeling as such. You didn’t want to act so hastily, for you were a bit too young. And yet this feeling was the strongest in him - you weren’t sure if it was love. You thought of him every day, but is that love? You looked for him in a crowd, but is that love? You wanted to be by his side every second of the day, but…
What IS love?